…because I finally got a copy of the Mabinogion (my brother found it for me in a thrift store) while I was in town to visit the doctor.
Otherwise, my latest visit was frustrating. My spleen is enlarged, but the doctor wants to keep an eye on it. My platelet count is still really high, but the doctor wants to keep an eye on it. I’m supposed to do monthly tests and see my cancer doctor in a few months.
I was so discouraged and upset in the doctor’s office. He said all the same things he said a month ago, except that he’s changed his mind about starting the chemo pills. He’s a good doctor, but sometimes his communication confuses me because what he means isn’t always what I understand from the things he says. He first told me two or three years ago that this kind of cancer was not a big deal and really treatable, which to my mind didn’t equal incurable or chronic. So there’s a communication problem there, because I don’t always know what points I should ask him to clarify.
The thing is that he doesn’t really know what to do. He keeps saying “if you were sixty, I would…” But I’m only 21. By rights I shouldn’t even be here, so to speak. I’m the youngest person he’s ever seen with this cancer by about 20 years.
So I’m going to see a specialist at a proper research hospital, which will be interesting, I’m sure. There is so much I don’t know at this point. I’ve started writing a list of questions to take in when I see the specialist. Hopefully I will be able to get some answers. Please be praying that I get to see a really good doctor. I am sorely tempted to take Li’l Almond Cub with me, but I don’t know how they’d react to that.
I looked up the hospital and read all the leukemia (myeloproliferative disorders are grouped with leukemia, apparently) doctors’ bios because I’ve decided to over-prepare for this appointment, Hermione-style. “Hello, doctor. How did you enjoy your undergrad at ___________? And your fellowship at ________, how did that impact your current career trajectory? I really appreciated your article on____________; it really opened my eyes to a great obstacle facing the medical profession today.” All of this, with a white stuffed bear in scrubs tucked under my arm. It’ll be great.